Top 5 Things That Are Never Going To Work

1-  Two-in-One Shampoo! Why is it that every godforsaken time I stay at a (heterosexual) male’s home, I end up washing my hair with this shit? It doesn’t exactly clean and it fo sho don’t moisturize. I get that it’s cheaper, easier, and quicker…but look where that got Anna Nicole Smith.

2- Cheap ass pencil erasers. We’ve all been there…you try to change your to you’re and before you know it, well, your paper resembles some sort of ash repository.

3- The “Dress Over Jeans” look. Every few years, rogue fashion editors decide that this “style” is a new (not) and fresh (not again) way to spice up the adventurous girl’s wardrobe. Newsflash: It’s not flattering and it looks hella stupid.

4- Acquiescing to tantrums to make bad behavior go away. Au contraire, this is a surefire way to ensure you get one of these little performances over every.damn.disagreement. Kids are smart man…and they most certainly understand the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” rule. Let the screaming commence.

5- Public transportation in Italy. The scenery is gorgeous, the food is too good, and the people are far too good-looking. They have better things to do. Buona Fortuna.

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