Tag Archives: grandma

Top 5 Things You Shouldn’t Forget To Do

1- Call your grandma (or grandpa). Whether you’re talking about daisies, upcoming travels, or some crazy relative…it’s good for the soul. Life is short and being able to hear your grandparent’s voice is precious. Also, remember to save their voicemails.

2- Sing happy birthday. While the obligatory text or Facebook post is nice, there is just something fantastic about hearing your goofy friend singing that age-old tune. For me, it’s probably a flashback to my BALLIN 101 Dalmatians party circa 1991…you shoulda been there.

3- Floss. Seriously. Don’t be a gross ass.

4- Keep the tank at least 1/4 full. Worst case scenario, there’s an emergency in the middle of the night and you have to stop for fuel. Less dangerous but still awful case scenario, it’s freaking freezing and you’re running late for work…and you have to stop for fuel. Woof.

5- Love on somebody. Whether it’s your spouse, puppy, niece, or great auntie…get some QT. Ridiculous bone-crushing hugs and smooches are what life’s all about…personally, I need about three hugs a day—so consider yourself warned.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top 5 Things That Should Always Be Celebrated

1- Your grandma’s birthday. Chances are, this little lady has lived through wars, unmedicated childbirth, and life without Wi-Fi….she deserves a damn birthday cake.

2- The 4th of July. It’s in the summer. It’s a drama-free holiday. You’re promised burgers, booze, and fireworks…God Bless America, indeed!

3- The return to singledom. Ain’t no party like a breakup party, ‘cuz a breakup party don’t stop…until you decide to take home the cheesy, but sweet, bearded bartender (who will now and forever be referred to as Rebound Robert).

4- Career advancement. Howwww many baby showers have you attended? Howww many presents have you purchased for these little gatherings? Correct me if I’m wrong, but that promotion *may* have taken a little more work than babymaking. Wine gifting should be mandatory.

5- Your favorite show. As ridiculous as it may sound, most people have at least ONE show that they cannot live without. You feel like part of the family, you hurt when they hurt, you root for that one special character…and you go nuts when the season returns. So gather your other groupies, make themed drinks/snacks, and celebrate the return of the Targaryens (or Lannisters, Starks, Tyrells…).

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top 5 Things You’re Never Too Old To Do

1- Run through the sprinkler. It really doesn’t get better than this…so throw caution (and your silk shirt) to the wind and partake in this time-honored summertime tradition. Extra points if you can toss a trampoline into the mix.

2- Order a kids meal. Whatever, the portions are better and they come in cute little boxes. Just make sure you don’t trash the toy…pay it forward by giving it to a kid on the street or donating to a local hospital/shelter.

3- Fight with your little brother. How long has he known you? Does he really think he’s going to get away with stealing your slice? Time to bust out the ‘ol Hogan moves.

4- Watch Boy Meets World. This show will never, and I repeat NEVER, get old. Here’s hoping the remake [and Topanga's hair] can stand up to the legend.

5- Call your grandma when you’re sick. Not sure what it is, but my granny always seems to know the appropriate ratio of concern, humor, advice, and cornbread my illnesses deserve.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top 5 Moments I’m A Cliché

1- When I see a grown man gently playing with a baby/toddler. Heart melted.

2- When I’m in NYC and the train is late. *@#^!@*!@*#&*@!@&(*!@#!@#!!!!

3- When I’m back home and drink my weight in sweet tea. Thanks, Granny!

4- When I have a few cocktails and decide to text message an ex-lovah. Boredom and booze do not mix, ya’ll!

5- When I have nothing to wear…in a closet that could have individual rooms for shoes, accessories, tops, dresses, costume apparel, you name it. Yet still, absolutely nothing to wear.

 

 

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 205 other followers