***Note: Due to the constant urging of one of my coworkers, I joined last week. The results have been nothing short of hilarious.
1- Shirtless selfie. While I am the last person to throw the washboard abs out with the bathwater, this just does not bode well for emotional stability. Is that all you have to offer?
2- No bio or misuse of your/you’re in said bio. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
3- Mutual friends. Sorry, you seem normal but our friends don’t need to know I’m on Tinder. Can’t swipe left fast enough.
4- You say you miss me after less than 24 hours of saying hello. Then proceed with a series of messages asking if I’m okay and will call you (after of course sending your phone number to no response). This actually happened. ***For those of you who know how it works, yes I swiped right on this seemingly cool guy…then had to immediately block him.
5- Kids, guns, lifeless animals, goatees, modeling shots, car photos, gym pics, and a laundry list of other no-nos. Once matched, calling me sweetie, babe, hottie, honey, sexy (barf), and beautiful will all get you disqualified immediately.
I’m just in the mood. Nothing worse than swiping too fast and realizing you can’t go back. Oh well, another one bites the dust…